We about to throw 'em bows...
Let me tell you about awkward...eating lunch and having your sweet fiance's former flame walk in...
Don't roll your eyes...you would feel awkward too!! Now maybe it wouldn't be bad in some circumstances. My darling would probably feel weird if we ran into my former flames...but I don't think it would get to him like it does me.
See...girls are the most vicious creatures on the face of this planet. I rarely get into confrontations but I have in the past and have no problem verbally putting someone in their rightful place. Heck, I put my former "who I thought was my best friend" in her spot very quickly because she ran her mouth a little too much behind my back.
But if you want my claws to come out...just TRY to mess with my man. Maybe if I explain the situation better...
Here we are on our second date almost 2 years ago, walking into the movie theater when a car drives up and this girl is rolling down her window calling out to him. We locked eyes and we immediately had each other's number. She meets us a few minutes later and she's batting her eyes and lightly rubs his arm...and she is redheaded too...WHICH TICKS ME OFF EVEN MORE!!! I can't say anything. I just smile and give good graces because I didn't want to come off crazy just yet. It took weeks for him to confirm that was his former flame...but being a girl...I already knew. Guys, we have our own language. We master the art of setting off other estrogen tempers by the age of 9. We, as Dane Cook says, are mind ninjas. Does it become pointless? Yes, but this is the one thing that will set me off. You can call me everything under the sun...but if you come after my family...even in the slightest way...I will reach for my ninja star.
Fast forward to a couple of months later, we go to one of his friend's wedding. Of course, she is there....with her family. I basically got the look of death from the mother. Good times. We run into "the best friend" after we got engaged and she has to assure Andy she is gonna tell the chick "hi" for him.
She is nice...but its that "I am nice cause I kinda have to be nice." See, she is the girl that liked him since they were like 13 years old. From what I understand, she chased him for YEARS but he just really couldn't like her in that way. They never were a couple but that doesn't matter, it is enough. Every girl has that ONE guy from school. But when one moves on...you really get over it. You grow out of it...very fast.
Anywho, I happen to just look outside while at lunch and see her come in. I slowly turn my head and start leaning for my straw while mumbling "is that you know who?" His face drops and gives a slow nod. We look down and I try pretending I am reading something...like an imaginary receipt. She comes up and gently and playfully nudges his shoulder...I then jump over the table, claws out, and begin dragging her by the hair through the salad bar...smothering her big head in the blue cheese dressing...
Then I snap back from my fantasy and force a smile. She then went on asking about the wedding and she knows my work history...Andy keeps looking at me to make sure my eyes aren't taking some cat color on (I guess he thought I was gonna resemble Michael Jackson from "Thriller" when he turns into the werewolf...haha...GET AWAY!!). It's all good to say hi and keep it light...just dont...touch.
But of course, before she leaves...she has to rub his shoulder for a quick second. THATS when my eyes finally turned...
Am I crazy or is this understandable?
Don't roll your eyes...you would feel awkward too!! Now maybe it wouldn't be bad in some circumstances. My darling would probably feel weird if we ran into my former flames...but I don't think it would get to him like it does me.
See...girls are the most vicious creatures on the face of this planet. I rarely get into confrontations but I have in the past and have no problem verbally putting someone in their rightful place. Heck, I put my former "who I thought was my best friend" in her spot very quickly because she ran her mouth a little too much behind my back.
But if you want my claws to come out...just TRY to mess with my man. Maybe if I explain the situation better...
Here we are on our second date almost 2 years ago, walking into the movie theater when a car drives up and this girl is rolling down her window calling out to him. We locked eyes and we immediately had each other's number. She meets us a few minutes later and she's batting her eyes and lightly rubs his arm...and she is redheaded too...WHICH TICKS ME OFF EVEN MORE!!! I can't say anything. I just smile and give good graces because I didn't want to come off crazy just yet. It took weeks for him to confirm that was his former flame...but being a girl...I already knew. Guys, we have our own language. We master the art of setting off other estrogen tempers by the age of 9. We, as Dane Cook says, are mind ninjas. Does it become pointless? Yes, but this is the one thing that will set me off. You can call me everything under the sun...but if you come after my family...even in the slightest way...I will reach for my ninja star.
Fast forward to a couple of months later, we go to one of his friend's wedding. Of course, she is there....with her family. I basically got the look of death from the mother. Good times. We run into "the best friend" after we got engaged and she has to assure Andy she is gonna tell the chick "hi" for him.
She is nice...but its that "I am nice cause I kinda have to be nice." See, she is the girl that liked him since they were like 13 years old. From what I understand, she chased him for YEARS but he just really couldn't like her in that way. They never were a couple but that doesn't matter, it is enough. Every girl has that ONE guy from school. But when one moves on...you really get over it. You grow out of it...very fast.
Anywho, I happen to just look outside while at lunch and see her come in. I slowly turn my head and start leaning for my straw while mumbling "is that you know who?" His face drops and gives a slow nod. We look down and I try pretending I am reading something...like an imaginary receipt. She comes up and gently and playfully nudges his shoulder...I then jump over the table, claws out, and begin dragging her by the hair through the salad bar...smothering her big head in the blue cheese dressing...
Then I snap back from my fantasy and force a smile. She then went on asking about the wedding and she knows my work history...Andy keeps looking at me to make sure my eyes aren't taking some cat color on (I guess he thought I was gonna resemble Michael Jackson from "Thriller" when he turns into the werewolf...haha...GET AWAY!!). It's all good to say hi and keep it light...just dont...touch.
But of course, before she leaves...she has to rub his shoulder for a quick second. THATS when my eyes finally turned...
Am I crazy or is this understandable?
posted by Paige @ 1:04 PM
2 Comments:
At 2:46 AM ,
BG said...
Considering you won...yeah, you're crazy. How is she a threat at all? Who cares what she does, Paige has the ringy!
At 6:24 AM ,
Paige said...
It's not really a "threat" type of deal and I know this isn't about me having the last say. I just don't appreciate blatantly obvious signs and attempts. It's a respect thing with me.
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